hadakajin (mellosonic) wrote,
hadakajin
mellosonic

2009 --> 2010



It seems pointless to post this since I've mostly abandoned LiveJournal, but just for the sake of tradition...

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
nothing

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did pretty poorly at achieving last year's resolutions. I have a more simple approach this year, as I think I've figured out what's been holding me back in life.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister-in-law have a baby, so I have a new nephew, Milo.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My dog Sunny had to be put to sleep.

5. What countries did you visit?
Just my own. No money.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Money. Happiness. Direction.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
4/10/09: Moving back to San Francisco after a few months back in Michigan.
10/17/09: Meeting Melinda, my current girlfriend
11/19/09: The day my dad had open heart surgery. He's fine now, but I was terrified at the time.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Working on Electric Ant #2. Having three art shows.

9. What was your biggest failure?
After a long time of unemployment, and spotty freelance work, I totally lost my motivation.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nothing out of the ordinary

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I didn't but much of anything this year.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
friends and family

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
my own.

14. Where did most of your money go?
rent, car payments, car insurance, various bills. All of my money went to that.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Nothing. That's the problem.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
"Walk the Night" by Skatt Brothers, "I Eat Cannibals" by Toto Coelo, and the album "Apocalypso" by The Presets.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
sadder
b) thinner or fatter?
about the same
c) richer or poorer?
poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Exercise. Believing in myself.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eating, procrastinating.

20. How did you be spend Christmas?
with my family, in Michigan.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
no

23. How many one-night stands?
one

24. What was your favorite TV program?
The Office, Parks and Recreation

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope

26. What was the best book you read?
Didn't read many

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Perfume, Lady Gaga. Neither of these are obscure by any means, but I became obsessed with both. I also hunted around and downloaded all sorts of weird obscure stuff too.

28. What did you want and get?
more art shows, a new ladyfriend.

29. What did you want and not get?
money, a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Moon, District 9, The Invention of Lying

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Karaoke and dinner with Ryan, Tom, Melania, and Oliver. 29.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and :-)

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
dark

34. What kept you sane?
Tom, Ryan, dad

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
didn't care

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
meh

37. Who did you miss?
the old me, when I was happier and more carefree.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Melinda

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
The beast will follow me wherever I go until I finally slay it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
mehhhhh...

41. Did you get back in touch with any old friends or relatives in 2009?
not really

42. How did you ring in 2009? How about 2010?
2009: Danced the night away at "The Bang" in Ann Arbor with Marie.
2010: I was at a bar with Melinda and friends in Monroe MI.



final thoughts...

2009 was pretty lame, but not as bad as 2008. More of a year of malaise than anything. As for how I did on the resolutions I made in last year's post, I didn't do very well. I did move back to California, but didn't manage to do the other things on the list. Basically the thing that sums up my resolutions for 2010 is that I want to be free (as Freddie Mercury once sang). There are a lot of things holding me back, and they're mostly self-imposed. I need to deal with these problems. I'm less focused this year on gaining new things in my life as I am getting rid of things.... weight, depression, and extra belongings I don't need.


New Year's resolutions for 2010:

1. Get back to the gym regularly, eat better and lose the weight again. This will improve my self-esteem and health and help to free me from my constant belief that "I'm not good enough", or "I don't deserve happiness".

2. Deal with the depression that's crept in over the last few years. I believe a lot of this would be fixed by the first resolution, but I don't expect it to change overnight. I don't have enough money to see a therapist, but improving my health and financial situation could help keep the dark thoughts away.

3. Continue to sort through my belongings in my storage unit in California, and also at my parents' house in Michigan, and get rid of 9/10 of my stuff. I have too much stuff and it holds me back from making moves that I might want to make. Selling stuff will bring me money, donating stuff will make me feel good, and not have as much stuff will allow me to be more spontaneous with my life's decisions.

I think only when I've taken care of these things can I really tackle my life's goals in photography, art, traveling, and experiencing life to its fullest. Right now I'm experiencing life through a heavy filter of gloom. I want to clear all that away so the sunlight can shine in.

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